Welcome To My Uterus

It's one of the first things you're asked after getting married:

"When are you going to have kids?"


Trevor and I have been asked this personal question countless times over our first year of marriage, usually from people we aren't very close to. At first I just smiled with an 'I'm not sure' but eventually, I tried giving an abbreviated answer to what (for us) is a very loaded question. I've gotten "Wow, that soon?" and "Are you sure you want to wait that long?" depending on the person. 

I'm not exactly sure the best way to respond.... Like, "Hi acquaintance. Welcome to my uterus."? The question itself is tough to answer and being questioned on my response is even more awkward. #cuethecrickets

Because of my endometriosis (a chronic, painful disease that is the leading cause of infertility in women) and several other factors, when it comes to kids, there is no simple answer. The real answer would take a long time of pouring out my heart to explain. Don't get me wrong, I'll gladly share if the person/place/time are right but the answer doesn't lie in one sentence. I don't think it does for any woman. There are so many factors that contribute to a couple's decision to have a baby/adopt.

I love when women come together and share their hearts on this topic - not so much when asked by a distant friend in passing. Although the question is common in small talk, it can touch a soul wound you don't know exists. Those lighthearted words hold depth. Most likely, if the answer impacted you, would already know it.

A question that has a one word answer for you could have paragraphs for another women. 

We are all on different journeys, in need of encouragement and support. Be quick to rejoice over, listen to, have compassion for, and celebrate with every woman in your life.